I will complain in the bitterness of my spirit. Job 7.
I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed. Psalm. 77.
A person with a growth mindset, is a person with a problem-solving intent. You come across a problem, and your mind immediately starts working for solutions.
On the other side you have complainers.
They have a problem for every solution.
Stating a fact and expressing how it effects you, is a very important expression. But complaining is very different from it.
Look around you. Do you have people in your circle who are constant complainers. Are you taking it for chatter, banter or entertainment ??
You should know that it is a disease. A malignant and contagious one at that.
The person who is complaining is suffering. They are bitter inside themselves and vomit it in the form of complaints. Constant complainers, if you notice, are not open for a solution. You think you are helping them by suggesting a solution. But all they would do of it, is, go to another person and complain about you. The more they complain, the more they feel the need to. It becomes an addictive habit. Complaining becomes the only way of expression. Complaining becomes their identity. Like a singer is expected to sing, complainers start believing that they are expected to complain. They become insecure, that if they stop complaining, people will stop to notice them. Even smaller and insignificant things start to bother them, and they go out on a rant. Do you realise the malignancy of this ?
And what if a person in your circle is a complainer? You will be gradually and unconsciously absorbing it. And, sometimes, almost immediately you start complaining back with the person who is doing it. If it's not in your true persona, you will gradually drop it. But not before, creating a certain level of negativity around. This might cost you later. Which means, you will be paying from your own pocket for the mistakes of your careless friend.
And if you are in the constant company of a complainer, you will become one. And now, others will start avoiding your company as they dont want to become you. You will also lose your 'problem solving' capacity. Because all your mental energy is invested in finding faults and not solutions. Because of which, you will have more issues unresolved. And quiet obviously, your quality of life and relationships will take a heavy toll. You will become a complainer and you will remain so. Do you see how contagious it is??
So what do you do?
When a problem surfaces,
• Understand it objectively.
• Then state it objectively.
By this time, logical thinking puts many of your anxieties to rest.
• Now, express or write down how it effects you
If the effect is profound - seek help or therapy.
• Now start thinking of a solution.
Follow this process, religiously and make it a habit. As you make it a habit, you will see that you switch into it effortlessly. And the whole process takes lesser and lesser time. Which will further reduce any anxiety, you would experience.This will increase the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships.
Quit the spirit of complaining, NOW.
Stop drinking that acid.